“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.” - Dave Barry “What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.” - Dave Barry “What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.” - Dave Barry
“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh'.” - Conan OBrien
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