“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” - Woody Allen “I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.” - Woody Allen “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.” - Woody Allen “I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” - Woody Allen
“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh'.” - Conan OBrien
